He had cancer and knew he could not get rid of it. All those years of smoking dope caught up to him, those LSD acid trips, the cocaine abuse, the heroin highs, and eating too many Lildebbie snack cakes damaged his pancreas and caused cancer as well as type OS X diabetes.
Steve Jobs is dead, long live Zombie Steve Jobs! The Zombification process was done and now we have Zombie Steve Jobs as a member after a $5 donation to Rusty's beer money fund.
Steve Jobs stole ideas from others. Before founding Apple he stole the idea of a computer kit from Altair and him and his buddy Steve Wozniak built the Apple I computer and sold it. Their marketing slogan was "We're not IBM!" and people flocked to the Apple computer for only $666 in cost because Steve Jobs was a devil worshiper and decided on that price to pay homage to his dark lord. After a deal was made for Steve Jobs' soul (or iSoul) the devil used his connections at Chase bank to give Apple investors and buyers and before you knew it the Apple / came out. The Apple // failed and later came back with technology stolen from the Commodore Amiga to make the Apple //gs system.
But before that Steve Jobs stole the best ideas from Xerox, Visi-On, the Xanadu project, and other ideas to make the Apple Lisa and later when that $10,000 monstrosity failed the Apple Macintosh for $5000. It didn't sell to well because it cost too much and the $299 Commodore 64 loaded GEOS to do the same things and the $1000 Apple //e ran GEOS as well and did the same things as the Macintosh. But Steve Jobs did not give up, formed Next with H. Ross Perot a Texas Oil guy and snarfed BSD Unix and the Mach kernel to make Nextstep and NextOS.
The Steve Jobsless Apple ran through CEOs like water, the Apple CEO office had a built in ejector seat. The Macintosh was not a success but Apple kept making new models. The Macintosh SE basically a Macintosh Plus with a Nubus slot, the Macintosh II copied after the Amiga 2000 but with a 68020 processor and Nubus slots. Apple learned that the Motorol 68000 processor was not good enough and partnered up with IBM, Motorola, and made the PowerPC chip to replace it. But it became costly, Intel made cheaper chips and the PowerPC could not get the speed to match Intel. Apple went to the PowerMac series and ran old Classic Mac 68K code.
Next could not make a profit, but Steve Jobs sold stock anyway and bought Pixar from George Lucas. Steve Wozniak was screwed out of his Apple shares and position at Apple after a plane crash, you see, and the Woz started up his own companies and wanted to help Jobs, but Jobs told Woz he wasn't part of his social clique anymore. That Woz was an 8 bit text based loser in a 32 bit GUI world. Anyway Next shared OpenStep with HP and Sun.
Meanwhile a former Apple CEO Jean-Louise Gasse (Not a woman even with a feminine name, he is French like the Coneheads) ripped off the Amiga to make BeOS. Somehow PowerMacs ran better on BeOS than Mac OS 7.X and Apple lost even more money.
So Apple had a choice, buy out Be Inc to get BeOS or buy out Next to get NextOS and Steve Jobs. Yes Apple bought out Next and Steve Jobs saved Apple to make it profitable by massive layoffs and cutting out products and support for existing customers and making another deal with the devil for the RIAA to allow Apple iTunes to sell songs for iPods and the new iMac a lower priced Mac and merge NextOS and MacOS to make Mac OS X. The deal worked and Apple was profitable again. Jobs made a double mortgage payment on his iSoul for that.
After a while Jobs read his second contract and learned that Apple had to switch to Intel chips and make the iPhone and later iPad. No biggie just let the Chinese in the Foxconn China plant do all the work, and force workers to suicide when they lose prototypes because they are slaves to him anyway. Human life means nothing to Apple's profits. Steve Jobs ignored his biological children like Lisa and was a dead beat dad, but he made the nerdvirgins cream their panties over the iOS and Mac OS X systems. Apple killed the Microsoft Zune and put Blockbuster out of business once iTunes sold movies and TV shows and also rented them and the Apple TV came out. Even Netflix felt the competition from Apple's iTunes.
The more people bought Apple products and services the more powerful Steve Jobs got, and thus the stronger the reality distortion field became. "I have 10,000 years of power!" Steve Jobs yelled! He faced Mace Windu and shot force lightning at him yelling "Unlimited power!" until later the second deal with the devil contract had a cancer clause in it and everything passed on to Tim Cook.
Steve Jobs passed away, Tim Cook danced on his grave. Billions of nerdvirigins mourned on The Internet to visit the Apple web site announcing Steve Jobs' death that it was Slashdotted. The iPhone 5 was not released and instead the iPhone 4S was released.
The Zombie Steve Jobs graces us with his presence on Kuro5hin while Steve Jobs' iSoul is in iHell making Windows ME apps for the iDevil there as part of the second contract.
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