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474 Things To Do When You're Bored

By Stick Apart in Stick Apart's Diary
Sun Mar 21, 2010 at 01:36:23 PM EST
Tags: boredom, mlp, bored, lists (all tags)

474 things to do when you're bored


"474 Things To Do When You're Bored

  • Wax the ceiling
  • Rearrange political campaign signs
  • Sharpen your teeth
  • Play Houdini with one of your siblings
  • Braid your dog's hair
  • Clean and polish your belly button
  • Water your dog...see if he grows
  • Wash a tree
  • Knight yourself
  • Name your child Edsel
  • Scare Stephen King
  • Give your cat a mohawk
  • Purr
  • Mow your carpet
  • Play Pat Boone records backwards
  • Vacuum your lawn
  • Sleep on a bed of nails
  • DON'T toss and turn
  • Boil ice cream
  • Run around in squares
  • Think of quadruple entendres
  • Speak in acronyms
  • Have your pillow X-rayed
  • Drink straight shots...of water
  • Calmly have a nervous breakdown
  • Give your goldfish a perm
  • Fly a brick
  • Play tag...on West 35th Street
  • Exorcise a ghost
  • Exercise a ghost
  • Be blue
  • Be red
  • But don't be orange
  • Plant a shoe
  • Sweat
  • Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil
  • Turn
  • Write a letter to Plato
  • Mail it
  • Take your sofa for a walk
  • Start
  • Stop
  • Dial 911 and breathe heavily
  • Go to a funeral...tell jokes
  • Play the piano...with mittens on
  • Scheme
  • Sit
  • Stay
  • Water your family room
  • Cause a power failure
  • Roll over
  • Play dead
  • Find a witch
  • Burn her
  • Donate your brother's body to science
  • Ask why
  • Wriggle
  • Regress
  • Sleepwalk without sleeping
  • Try to join Hell's Angels by mail
  • Wonder
  • Be a square root
  • Ask stupid questions
  • Weld your car doors shut
  • Spew
  • Vacation at Three-Mile Island
  • Surf Ohio
  • Teach your pet rock to play dead
  • Go bowling for small game
  • Be a monk...for a day
  • Wear a sweatband to your wedding
  • Staple
  • Run away
  • Intimidate a piece of chalk
  • Abuse the plumbing
  • Bend a florescent light
  • Bend a brick
  • Annoy total strangers
  • Let the best man win
  • Believe in Santa Claus
  • Throw marshmallows against the wall
  • Hold an ice cube as long as possible
  • Adopt strange mannerisms
  • Blow up a balloon until it pops
  • Sing soft and sweet and clear
  • Sing loud and sour and gravely
  • Open everything
  • Balance a pencil on your nose
  • Pour milk in your shoes
  • Write graffiti under the rug
  • Embarrass yourself
  • Grind your teeth
  • Chew ice
  • Count your belly button
  • Sit in a row
  • Stack crumbs
  • Gesture
  • Save your toenail clippings
  • Make a pass at your blender
  • Punt
  • Make up words that start with X
  • Make oatmeal in the bathtub
  • Search for the Lost Chord
  • Chew on a sofa cushion
  • Sing a duet
  • Balance a pillow on your head
  • Hold your breath
  • Faint
  • Stretch
  • Flash your mailman
  • Teach your TA English
  • Learn to speak Farsi
  • Swear in Russian
  • Use an eraser until it goes away
  • Disassemble your car
  • Put it together inside out
  • Record your walls
  • Interview your feet
  • Make a list of your favorite fungi
  • Sell formaldehyde
  • Repeat
  • Ad lib
  • Fade
  • File your teeth - Whine
  • Rake your carpet
  • Re-elect Richard Nixon
  • Critique "Three's Company"
  • Listen to a painting
  • Play with matches
  • Buff your cat
  • Race ferrets
  • Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange
  • Have a formal dinner at White Castle
  • Read Homer in the original Greek
  • Learn Greek
  • Change your mind
  • Change it back
  • Watch the sun...see if it moves
  • Build a pyramid
  • Stand on your head
  • Stand on someone else's head
  • Spit shine your Nikes
  • See how long you can stay awake
  • See how long you can sleep
  • Paint your teeth
  • Wear a salad
  • Speak with a forked tongue
  • Paint stripes on a lake
  • Ski Kansas
  • Sleep in freefall
  • Kill a Joule
  • Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
  • Apply for a unicorn hunting license
  • Do a good job
  • Crawl
  • Invite the Mansons over for dinner
  • Paint your windows
  • Watch a watch until it stops
  • Flash your goldfish
  • Paint
  • Flirt with an evergreen
  • Smile
  • Rotate your garden...daily
  • Paint a smile
  • Shoot a fire hydrant
  • Apologize to it
  • Pretend you're blind
  • Annoy yourself
  • Get mad at yourself
  • Stop speaking to yourself
  • Be a side effect
  • Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley
  • Duck
  • Redecorate...your garage
  • Develop a complex
  • Join the Army...be someone simple
  • Try harder
  • Hit the deck
  • Put leg-warmers on your furniture
  • Cut the deck
  • Crumple
  • Translate Shakespeare into English
  • Skydive to church
  • Cheer up a potato
  • Do aerobic exercises...in your head
  • Play cards with your swimming pool
  • Pinstripe your driveway
  • Play Kick the Fire Hydrant
  • Harness chipmunk power
  • Build a house with ice cubes
  • Call London for a cab
  • Mug a stop sign
  • Change your name...daily
  • Go for a walk in your attic
  • Challenge your neighbor to a duel
  • Build a house out of toothpicks
  • Howl
  • Wear a lampshade on your head
  • Memorize the dictionary
  • Stomp grapes in the bathtub
  • Find a bug and chase it
  • Make yourself a pair of wings
  • Be immobile
  • Dance 'til you drop
  • Check under chairs for chewing gum
  • Squish a loaf of bread
  • Moo
  • Bounce a potato
  • Outmaneuver your shadow
  • Climb the walls
  • Appreciate everything
  • Challenge yourself to a duel
  • Make napalm
  • Tattoo your dresser
  • Watch a bowling ball
  • Buy some diapers
  • Eat everything
  • Begin
  • Pour milk in the sink
  • Make cottage cheese
  • Tie-dye your sheets
  • Carpet your ceiling
  • Hold your earlobes
  • Fold your earlobes
  • Flap
  • Squawk
  • Read tea leaves
  • Analyze the Koran
  • Be Buddha
  • Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
  • Plug in the cat
  • Turn on everything
  • Drop pebbles down the chimney
  • Turn off your neighbor
  • Kill a plant
  • Buy a 1931 Almanac
  • Memorize the weather section
  • Think lewd thoughts about yourself
  • Blow bubbles
  • Send chills down your spine
  • Peel grapes
  • Make paper from the skins
  • Bloat
  • Catch them with your radiator
  • Get run over by a train of thought
  • Make up famous sayings
  • Bite your pinkie - Get your dog braces
  • Shave a shrub
  • Have a proton fight
  • Watch a car rust
  • Quiver
  • Rotate your carpet
  • Learn to type...with your toes
  • Set up your Christmas tree in April
  • Be someone special
  • Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
  • Mail it to a friend
  • Go back to square one
  • Factor your social security number
  • Take the fifth
  • Memorize a series of random numbers
  • Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
  • Join the Foreign Legion
  • Learn Sanskrit
  • Exist...existentially, of course
  • Print counterfeit Confederate money
  • Kick a cabbage
  • Take a picture
  • Put it back
  • Sandpaper a mushroom
  • Play solitaire...for cash
  • Abuse your patio furniture
  • Run for Pope
  • Count to a million...fast
  • Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
  • Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
  • Revert
  • Think shallow thoughts
  • Starch your shoes
  • Polish your Calvin's
  • Contemplate a cockroach
  • Get a dog to chase your car
  • Let him catch it
  • Investigate the Czar
  • Form a political party
  • Climb a sidewalk
  • Have a political party
  • Get diagonal...with a good friend
  • Ride a loaf of bread
  • Sharpen a carrot
  • Interrogate a gerbil
  • Go bow hunting for Toyotas
  • Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
  • Jump back
  • Play to lose
  • Scalp a street light
  • Have your car painted...plaid
  • Read a tomato
  • Sharpen your sleeping skills
  • Watch a game show...take notes
  • Put out a fire
  • If you can't find a fire, make one
  • Interview a cloud
  • Play tiddlywinks...go for blood
  • Play basketball...in a minefield
  • Don't talk to things
  • Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling
  • Have your cat bronzed
  • Have your gerbil gilded
  • Write books about writing books
  • Create random equations
  • Mispell words
  • Tell your feet a joke
  • Throw a tomato into a fan
  • Sing the ABC song backwards
  • Pretend you're a dog
  • Dial-a-prayer and argue with it
  • Grease the doorknobs
  • String up a room
  • Stack furniture
  • Relive fond memories
  • Tie your shoelaces together
  • Gargle
  • Count your teeth with your tongue
  • Decay
  • Find your half-life
  • Design a better toilet seat
  • Shred a newspaper
  • Have a headache
  • Scratch
  • Sniff
  • Hatch an egg
  • Play air guitar
  • Act profound
  • Spill
  • Spell
  • Stare
  • Truncate
  • Slouch
  • Develop hearing problems
  • Put your feet behind your head
  • Tie bows in everything
  • Hold your hand
  • Watch the minute hand move
  • Grow your fingernails
  • Pretend you're a telephone
  • Ring
  • Radiate
  • Skip
  • Play hopscotch...with real scotch
  • Clock the velocity of your REMs
  • Put your shoes on the opposite feet
  • Cross your toes
  • Roll your tongue
  • Crystallize
  • Baby oil the floor
  • Hide
  • Attack innocent bunnies
  • Declare war
  • Destroy a tree
  • Hide the scrabble bag
  • Seduce your stick shift
  • Wink
  • Memorize the periodic table
  • Mummify
  • Pretend you're a roadie
  • Buy a Ginsu knife
  • Collect electrons
  • Correct typos that aren't there
  • Polish your neck...use Pledge  
  • Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
  • Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car
  • Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet
  • Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes
  • Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture
  • Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending
  • Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")
  • Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother
  • Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong
  • Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
  • Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire
  • Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before
  • Walk on water...but don't get caught
  • Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
  • Be in the wrong place at the right time
  • Plot the overthrow of your local School Board
  • Request covert assistance from the CIA
  • Discover the source of the Mississippi
  • Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska
  • Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes
  • Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is
  • Drink as much prune juice as you can
  • Write a book about your previous life
  • Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres
  • Jump up and down...on your alarm clock
  • Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins
  • Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels
  • Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow
  • Drive the speed limit...in your garage
  • Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final
  • Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna
  • Pay off the national debt...with a bad check
  • Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people
  • Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas
  • Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
  • Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster
  • See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement
  • Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English
  • Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good
  • job they're doing...On April 1st
  • Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor
  • Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them
  • Turn your TV picture tube upside down
  • Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy
  • Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets
  • Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
  • Be planar...but don't tell your parents
  • Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck
  • Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed
  • Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed
  • Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese
  • Debate politics with a fern
  • See how small you can scrunch your face - Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis
  • Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)
  • Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
  • Raise professional certified racing turnips
  • Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation
  • Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.
  • Go to a drive-in movie in a tank
  • Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
  • Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first
  • Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch
  • Send your goldfish to obedience school
  • Free the oppressed toasters of America
  • Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing
  • Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave
  • Park your car...with a friend
  • Park your car...with a group of friends
  • Frame your first statement of bankruptcy
  • Place it on the wall of your office
  • Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)
  • Contribute to the population problem
  • Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign
  • Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
  • Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife
  • Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway
  • Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night
  • Play with anything that looks interesting
  • Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first
  • See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water
  • Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work
  • Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
  • State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
  • Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design
  • Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
  • Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like
  • See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house
  • Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while
  • See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green
  • Bronze your sister's turtle
  • See how long it takes for her to notice
  • See what she does when she notices
  • Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.
  • Increase your territorial holdings by force
  • Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
  • Boldly go where no man has gone before
  • Be a threat to the American way of life
  • Do research into the cause of World War III
  • Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life
  • Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh"

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474 Things To Do When You're Bored | 2 comments (2 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)
i already did all that (none / 1) (#1)
by zombie lonelyhobo on Sun Mar 21, 2010 at 01:49:46 PM EST

THANKS FOR NOTHING BUTTFACE
NIGGA YOU DUMB
I'm not sure I follow your argument. (none / 0) (#2)
by Michael David Crawford on Sun Mar 21, 2010 at 09:12:38 PM EST

I don't see "Masturbate with a railroad spike" in there anywhere. But perhaps I overlooked it - could you point it out? Thanks!



474 Things To Do When You're Bored | 2 comments (2 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)
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