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What My Girlfriend Wants

By jxg in jxg's Diary
Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 04:36:40 PM EST
Tags: sodomy, scat, my GIRLFRIEND (all tags)

Recently, my girlfriend of two months came up to me with a request for something foul. She wants me to try scat with her. Before I continue, let me say something. If you don't know what scat is then trust me when I say that you don't want to find out. Take my advice and don't read this diary. When my girlfriend explained to me what scat is, I threw up right away, and I've been shaking ever since. So, believe me when I say that you don't want to know what it is. If you aren't planning on taking that advice, then know that you're following at your own risk.

My girlfriend wants to poop in my mouth and have me eat it and swallow it. That's what scat is. It's the most horrific thing I've heard of, and my girlfriend wants to try it on me this Saturday. She wants me to fulfill her desire. And I agreed to do it. She told me that if I'm not willing to do this for her, then I'm not a real boyfriend, that I don't love her, and that we should break up. And, well... I love her. And when you love someone, you do these kinds of things for them. My girlfriend has been stuffing her face full of everything from bean burritos to chili, with plenty of laxatives thrown in for good measure. She wants to pull out the biggest crap of her life, just for me. I don't think there's any backing out at this point. Come this Saturday, my girlfriend wants to execute the greatest display of control and female empowerment on me that she possibly can by using me as a toilet. And there's nothing that I can do about it now because I love her and I don't want to disappoint. I'm just so terrified that I need help and some people to talk to.
There's no backing out. I love someone, or at least I think I do. The point is that I would do anything for her. Saturday will come, and I'll get a mouthful of my girlfriend in a way I never expected to.
If there's anything at all anyone can say to help me get ready for this, maybe even help me keep from getting too sick, then I could use your words now. I've got a few hours and then a whole day to prepare myself.

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jxg's Diary

What My Girlfriend Wants | 34 comments (34 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)

That's incredibly unhealthy (3.00 / 6) (#1)
by thekubrix on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 04:41:22 PM EST

It's raw sewage. You're going to get very sick.

Can't she just crap on your chest like a normal human being???

thats totally gay (3.00 / 7) (#2)
by I Did It All For The Horse Cock on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 04:44:44 PM EST

\\\ \ \ ^.^._______ This comment brought to you by the penis-nosed fox! \\______/_________|_) / / \ \ \_\_ \ \

Welcome back (none / 0) (#3)
by Nimey on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 04:46:14 PM EST

and thanks for the lulz.
--
Never mind, it was just the dog cumming -- jandev
You Sir, are an Ignorant Motherfucker. -- Crawford
I am arguably too manic to do that. -- Crawford
I already fuck my mother -- trane
Nimey is right -- Blastard
i am in complete agreement with Nimey -- i am a pretty big deal

tie her up. let her crap herself. take video. (none / 0) (#4)
by JosiahGibbs on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 04:48:13 PM EST

it's still not as freaky as electroplay. now, that's crazy shit!

not really by LilDebbie, 09/17/2009 05:32:29 PM EST (2.50 / 6)

Dammit by some nerd, 09/17/2009 06:20:10 PM EST (none / 1)

Here's what you should do (none / 1) (#5)
by Nimey on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 04:51:22 PM EST

Start small so you can get acclimated. Go to the park, find a little piece of dogshit, and eat it when nobody's looking. You'll probably feel sick, but it'll pass.

Next day do the same but pick up a little more. On the third day, if you've been able to handle it thus far, pick up some of your own shit from the toilet and have a snack. You should probably not eat corn or peanuts beforehand.

Do that for another couple days, watching what you eat so it's not super-slimy and gross.

Now you should be ready.
--
Never mind, it was just the dog cumming -- jandev
You Sir, are an Ignorant Motherfucker. -- Crawford
I am arguably too manic to do that. -- Crawford
I already fuck my mother -- trane
Nimey is right -- Blastard
i am in complete agreement with Nimey -- i am a pretty big deal

is this how you did it? $ by j1mmy, 09/17/2009 06:02:11 PM EST (3.00 / 4)

how can you say you love her (2.40 / 5) (#6)
by LilDebbie on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 04:52:55 PM EST

if you won't even eat her poop?

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

I Will Eat Her Poop by jxg, 09/17/2009 04:57:03 PM EST (3.00 / 2)

i was spouting memes by LilDebbie, 09/17/2009 05:30:40 PM EST (none / 1)
I would not do anything for someone by HollyHopDrive, 09/17/2009 07:20:10 PM EST (none / 1)

That's very selfish of you. by Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi, 09/17/2009 08:07:21 PM EST (3.00 / 5)

lovely (2.00 / 4) (#8)
by bride of spidy on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:01:11 PM EST

for some bitch that kept rating people with 2s.

Tell her to fuck off (3.00 / 2) (#9)
by Have A Nice Day on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:07:27 PM EST

You're not a "real boyfriend" if you don't?

You're not a real adult human being if you can't tell her how much the thought of it disgusts you. Love or not.

--------------
Have A Nice Day may have reentered the building.

hawtest diary in a long time (3.00 / 4) (#10)
by balsamic vinigga on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:07:44 PM EST

would fap again

---
Please help fund a Filipino Horror Movie. It's been in limbo since 2007 due to lack of funding. Please donate today!

well it's more 'colourfull' then the hugin (none / 1) (#11)
by Del Griffith on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:08:28 PM EST

ZOMG I've got AIDZ troll.

Wait, maybe BOTH of you can catch teh AIDZ!

-------
I...I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. Because I'm the real article. What you see is what you get. - Me

Is she hot? (3.00 / 3) (#12)
by Nimey on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:10:34 PM EST

If she is, you should totally do it.
--
Never mind, it was just the dog cumming -- jandev
You Sir, are an Ignorant Motherfucker. -- Crawford
I am arguably too manic to do that. -- Crawford
I already fuck my mother -- trane
Nimey is right -- Blastard
i am in complete agreement with Nimey -- i am a pretty big deal

lol pasta. (3.00 / 8) (#13)
by Chino Ginelli on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:15:57 PM EST

if not, lol-mildly-original-skitting-on-scat.

just don't wear beige chinos in this scenario. that's a given really.
_____

"Can you recommend a Chino vendor?" - MichaelCrawford, Nov 2008

"[President Obama] likes em a little loose but not saggy. He likes a wool and cashmere blend. He rolls with an inch and a quarter cuff." - tdillo, Nov 2008

"I think they look sharp. But it's important that they be pressed, or at least hung properly, so as to maintain the crease." - MichaelCrawford, Sep 2009

"I find a bit of well-cut tailoring quite hot." - TDS, Jun 2010

IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! (3.00 / 3) (#14)
by some nerd on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:25:45 PM EST

TAKE THIS

Don't believe this, but if it were true iirc it would be marginally less horrific if she ate lots of pineapple.
_{--

Home Sweet Home}

ok... (none / 1) (#17)
by horny smurf on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:34:24 PM EST

you want us to butt fuck her before hand so you can also do some felching?

slip her a couple dozen mg of loperamide (3.00 / 4) (#18)
by Stick Apart on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:36:19 PM EST

beforehand
-------
JOIN THE RAY ECKSON CLUB

as this would prevent said act from being by Stick Apart, 09/17/2009 08:11:00 PM EST (3.00 / 2)

cool story bro $ (3.00 / 4) (#20)
by Lady 3Jane on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 06:02:34 PM EST

8====================================================================D ~~
8 Please enjoy a male chorus, All of us will become human rifles and bombs!
8 This is offensive. Fix your site Rusty you have to -- The Honorable Edwin Lister
8 Please enjoy a male chorus, All of us will become human rifles and bombs!
8====================================================================D ~~
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
_ __|_\_ =u__.-.__) - BOW DOWN BEFORE THE TELEVISION MADE FLESH © 2012 /_/

I know this is a troll but (2.00 / 4) (#21)
by HollyHopDrive on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 06:09:20 PM EST

it really doesn't matter if it's a man pressuring a woman, a woman pressuring a man, a woman pressuring a woman or a man pressuring a man. If you don't want to, for fuck's sake don't, and if they love you they should respect that. The higher limits should ALWAYS win out. It's one thing to try something you're a little scared but curious about in order to have an intense experience and quite something else to do something you rightly are repulsed by because it's sick and vile and nasty and dangerous.

Quite apart from that you could get all number of diseases.

Do NOT do it.

I know, IHBT.

I make too much sense to be on the Internet.

It's a terrible dillema (none / 1) (#22)
by DK4 Bloo on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 06:11:50 PM EST

and one that I'm glad I've never had to have faced

hai, welcome back assworm! (none / 1) (#25)
by N0574 on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 07:57:17 PM EST

as of Sunday morning: HIREZ or STFU.

- NCCTG N0574 CANCER PROTOCOL

By girlfriend, I'm sure you mean your mom. (none / 0) (#26)
by Pentashagon on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 08:06:35 PM EST

But I liked the last diary better.

this is (none / 0) (#29)
by achievingfluidity on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 08:28:00 PM EST

the gayest diary in recent memory.

go back into hiding

--
ANNOY A LIBERAL USE FACTS AND LOGIC

gay != stupid $ by localroger, 09/17/2009 08:35:38 PM EST (none / 0)

maybe... by horny smurf, 09/17/2009 09:32:52 PM EST (none / 1)

My girlfriend wants you to shut the fuck up. (none / 0) (#32)
by me0w on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 09:43:15 PM EST

"The only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby ... and it makes us angry."

So you say your gonna (none / 0) (#33)
by tdillo on Fri Sep 18, 2009 at 12:34:12 AM EST

eat shit

fuck off

and Die.

LOL is Me

_{The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.}
The alternative is Michael Crawford.

First, you get her really drunk, (3.00 / 2) (#34)
by Brogdel on Fri Sep 18, 2009 at 04:52:30 PM EST

Then you backhand that bitch, flip her over and shit on her face. Wipe it around with your dick some before you give her a good face fucking. Just for good measure tell her she sucks and it was a lot more fun shitting on her mom.

What My Girlfriend Wants | 34 comments (34 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

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