If I wasn't gay, you'd be so mine By thugsonfilm in thugsonfilm's Diary Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 06:52:56 PM EST Tags: PUA, disgust, fear, loathing, humiliation, sex (all tags)
	Oh god. no.

Dear k5, So, through the cosmic magic of the internets I met a fellow who knew a little bit more about the PUA crapz but who said that he didn't have the confidence to do it. Your humble narrator has confidence, but needed to bone up on his technique. So we talked about PUA crap (I didn't buy the NLP/bio crap that is associated with Jeffries & Mystery respectively. I mean they are basically clueless losers when it comes to explaining why their methods may work or not, just as a talented artist may not know how or why their materials behave the way they do but can command them with some skill). But there are 'methods' and we agreed to go out and give it a try acting as a 'wingman' as needed. [a note on "wingman" crap I learnt. Later in this story He decided to attempt to "open a five set" of some very hot chicks after we had some drinks in us which I applauded for his boldness. I contented myself to "open a 2 set" of some rather less attractive women. He came back after making some reasonable progress and he said to the woman I was talking to (with rather just ok results, I used the "jealous girlfriend routine on her, but I made it a computer background instead of photos in a drawer. It caused her to give me a "geez, you don't know that's not cool?" look. She was, however, with a friend, who let me chatter away.) So he said "Is this woman giving you trouble?" and proceeded to tease her rather well to which she responded with lively jibes. He later explained that this expression "Is she giving you trouble?" is a way to identify to your wingman who your target is. The "woman giving you trouble" is the one you are interested in. The women who I rather liked better, the brunette, actually got up to go the bathroom, so it was a moot point.] So back to the beginning... So we engaged this one kinda cracked out chick. I opened up with a "false time limit" (which I'd not heard called that before) and said "Hey we have to be somewhere in a few minutes, but we were having an argument about who lies more... men or women?" She actually rather started talking to us first, and proceeded to give a disturbingly long winded explanation of the various forms of transformation of a lying man and lying woman. I then moved to 'the jealous girlfriend' which she also seemed to respond well to, and my co-hort then engaged her in some idle banter about something she mentioned earlier. I basically wanted to "number close" and get to someone a little more coherent, so I used the "well I've enjoyed talking to you, maybe we could keep this going some other time...?" hint/suggestion and she said "Hey call me sometimes..." and gave us her number. Neither of us was particularly interested in calling her, but it was to practice, so to speak. Fast forward, hanging with another friend ("a natural") I am hanging out with him and three beautiful women and we end up at a small bar. Suddenly I am approached by a guy who asks me for a light, and I say "ok, but you gotta tell me a joke". He agrees and then proceeds to "plow" me with questions. I am thinking, uh oh, this guy is all about using pua techniques and I am the "alpha male" in this group (my natural friend is rather not intimidating looking, but my weight, height and shaved head can make me look a little scarier). So here I was being targeted for my five set with three babes. Shit! So, the result was that I was basically throw way off, having to defend against these kinds of tactics. My pua 'attacker' was moving into the targeting process of engaging me and then moving his back to one of the lovelies (SOP from the game). He proceeded to ignore my multiple requests he honor his joke for light agreement and I simply defaulted into belligerent debater mode. Like a pit bull I just kept bringing it up again and again. "So you still haven't told me that joke." Finally, his will broken, he told me a joke. The hot chick I was with knew the joke and blew his presentation by saying the punch line before he gave it and it went nowhere. Oh well. The chick(s) bailed I ended up talking to him and another of his friends who showed up. At this point, although I was interested in at least "learning" about PUA theory (as I like to learn in general and find "psychology" things like this to be interesting) I had many misgivings about the whole idea. I think the most powerful idea/practice is simple to make many approaches. I suspect that a person who simply made a strong consistent effort to approach women/men would become, in some way, more confident and capable at getting somewhere. The next strongest principle is having something to say. This itself is a problem though because it's "canned lines" which can a)be identified, or b)heard before, or c)used successfully but then you become "routine dependent". So it seems that having confidence is a function of experience, but where does experience come from? So earlier that day I was chatting up the two hot chick friends of my friend in a park and one of them was very friendly but the other one was guarded and not really open to me. I was simply trying to stay defensively polite, not being too vulgar or whatever and I thought it might be fun/opportune to use a line Strauss said he used after some hesitation. But I used it on two women at the same time: "If I wasn't gay, you both would be so mine". It flew over very well. The friendly chick became friendlier, the semi-distant one laughed and said "You're pretty confident" and the conversation turned dramatically in the positive direction. Which made me think that the PUA crap might be seen as a series of stages (although I dislike structuralist explanations generally). First, openers. Something to say to promote conversation or even see if your possible femme friend is open to talking. Second conversation generators. This essentially is a matter of going from "unknown" to "friend zone" as fast as possible. Chicks, like anyone else, like to talk and getting someone to talk to you is the start. Then there are a matter of good/strong transitions right out of the friend zone into the dating/kissing/sex zone. The friend zone, which is so hard to get into from the 'stranger zone' is - for many - hard to transition from. I think part of it is a fear of losing them "as a friend" which for some guys is a big thing. The uneaten fish is the eternal hope. Some day, I'll eat a great meal. But for now I am content to see it swimming around, even eating bread crumbs from my hand. But also, I think there is a fear of the failed technique or the backfire. What if you try a kissing transition and she balks and calls you a creep? A certain, "I don't really give a fuck" helps, but not everyone can pull that off. One kissing transition from Strauss' Game is initially asking for a cheek kiss. After chatting them up you (at some point I don't remember) are supposed to say "Kiss goodbye" and point to your cheek. At some point, I don't recall, you are supposed to transition to "Do you want to kiss me?" If she says no and acts like you were soliciting a kiss, you can come back with "Well, you had a funny look on your face. I thought you wanted to kiss me that's all." And act like it was her idea. Of course if she says yes, then hopefully there is no problem with follow through. I used the "kiss goodbye" with one of the drunken hotties, but frankly is getting cooperation from a drunk friend much of an achievement? Perhaps not, but hey a cheek kiss is better than nothing. It's a move in the right direction. And progress is always nice. I removed a big red lipstick kiss from my cheek this morning after forgetting she'd kissed me (I had made a few visits to Mr. Seagrams throughout the evening). As always, my fellow kurons, toodles. -TOF

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