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Some right good business correspondence

By debillitatus in debillitatus' Diary
Sat Apr 28, 2007 at 12:43:53 PM EST
Tags: muh dick, ch0wn3d, comma-separated, maximum of 10 tags please (all tags)

Greatest business letter ever written, from the GREATESST NVOEL IN THE HISTROY OF TEH UNIVERS EVAR. If you guess the source, I'll rate your comment at least a 2.

...

Mr. I. Abelman, Mongoloid, Esq.:


Mr. I. Abelman, Mongoloid, Esq.:
We have received via post your absurd comments about our trousers, the comments revealing, as they did, your total lack of contact with reality. Were you more aware, you would know or realize by now that the offending trousers were dispatched to you with our full knowledge that they were inadequate so far as length was concerned. "Why? Why?" you are in your incomprehensible babble, unable to assimilate stimulating concepts of commerce into your retarded and blighted worldview.

The trousers were sent to you (1) as a means of testing your initiative (A clever, wide-awake business concern should be able to make three-quarter length trousers a by-word of masculine fashion. Your advertising and merchandising programs are obviously faulty.) and (2) as a means of testing your ability to meet the standards requisite in a distributor of our quality product. (Our loyal and dependable outlets can vend any trouser bearing the Levy label no matter how abominable their design and construction. You are apparently a faithless people.)

We do not wish to be bothered in the future by such tedious complaints. Please confine your correspondence to orders only. We are busy and dynamic organization whose mission needless effrontery and harassment can only hinder.

If you molest us again, sir, you may feel the sting of the lash across your pitiful shoulders.

Yours in anger,

Gus Levy, Pres.

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Some right good business correspondence | 9 comments (9 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)
Heh, (3.00 / 2) (#1)
by TDS on Sat Apr 28, 2007 at 12:58:26 PM EST

"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him"

Now cough up the 2, I'm bored.

It is a very funny book actually, must re-read.

And when we die, we will die with our hands unbound. This is why we fight.

King James Bible (none / 1) (#3)
by j1mmy on Sat Apr 28, 2007 at 04:50:53 PM EST

Romans II, verses 10 through 28.

TDS beat me to it (none / 1) (#6)
by localroger on Sat Apr 28, 2007 at 05:17:05 PM EST

Too bad O'Toole didn't get to write anything else. Being so thoroughly rejected that you commit suicide really limits your output.

I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds -- J. Robert Oppenheimer
Some right good business correspondence | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)
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