The dark side of the human mind By sye in sye's Diary Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 12:43:51 PM EST Tags: tragedy (all tags)
	Dr. Qinuo Van Dyke mourned the loss of her two sons. She is from Shanghai and highschool classmate of a friend of mine. I wonder how she survived her peronsal loss as reported by Telegraph on 6/6/06. Can we forgive all dead for life is so fragile and we have no choice but have faith in goodness among all living things.

ALTON - Staring at the three caskets in front of her, a distraught wife and mother mourned the loss of her husband and two sons Monday. Attempts to comfort Qinuo Van Dyk were unsuccessful as she wept for her husband, Dr. Edward Van Dyk, 43, and sons, Carl, 8, and Spencer, 4. Gent Funeral Home in Alton served as a place for family, friends and colleagues to mourn the Memorial Day weekend double-murder and suicide. "You just don't expect this sort of tragedy to touch anyone you know in that context," said Rachel Levi, Spencer's Sunday school teacher at the Ethical Society of St. Louis. Levi is not alone in her disbelief regarding the deaths. Those who know the Van Dyk family were shocked when they heard of the tragedy. Van Dyk killed his two sons by throwing them off a 15-story balcony at a hotel room in Miami. He then jumped to his death. The family had been on vacation, celebrating the Van Dyks' 10th wedding anniversary. A private burial for the father and sons will be held at a later date. Qinuo Van Dyk told police that she and her husband had been having problems in their marriage, but things had been improving. Oebele Van Dyk, Edward's father, said his son seemed delusional in a phone conversation just two days prior to the deaths of his son and grandchildren. The day of the funeral service, three closed caskets sat at the front of the room. A stuffed animal sat on each of the boys' small caskets. A white teddy bear with a captain's shirt and hat rested on top of Carl's and a gray koala with a black graduation gown and cap sat on Spencer's. Edward Van Dyk's casket was adorned with flowers. Two violins and a cello filtered from above, serving as a prelude to the service. Kate Lovelady, leader of the Ethical Society of St. Louis, the Van Dyks' church, led the service. "All families will come to know the pain and grief of losing someone," Lovelady said during the service. A video slideshow with pictures of the Van Dyk family during happier times played in another room. As mourners stopped to watch, photos highlighting the smiling faces of Carl and Spencer flashed on the screen. Montessori Children's House in Godfrey, where the Van Dyk boys once attended, sent a wreath covered with teddy bears, some with angel wings. People filled the pews in the small funeral home room and some sat in chairs off to the side, while others watched silently from a room farther back. Four friends and colleagues gave remembrances on Edward and the two boys. Many of Edward Van Dyk's colleagues from Alton Memorial Hospital listened as Ron McMullen, president of Alton Memorial, described Van Dyk's 18 months as medical director of the hospital's Cancer Care Center. "Dr. Van Dyk was one of the best," McMullen said during his remembrance. Patti Brown and Dorothy Cronin of the Nature Institute, where the boys attended summer camp, shared stories as well as tears about their interaction with Carl and Spencer. "He kept me on my toes," Brown said about Carl, her voice cracking as she fought back tears. Both Brown and Cronin recalled the boys' funnier moments. Brown remembered a time when Carl corrected her facts on a particular species of spider. Brown said that when she checked her facts after camp was over for the day, Carl was right. Brown and Cronin described the boys as smart, inquisitive children. Brown said today was the first day of the summer camp. Curt Comstock, a close friend of the Van Dyks from Albuquerque, N.M., brought the sympathy and memories from friends there. Comstock recalled a woman saying Carl attended her child's birthday party. When she offered Carl a slice of birthday cake, he declined, saying he might get diabetes if he ate it. More tears followed as a musical interlude granted people time to mourn and reminisce over lives lost. Lovelady spoke again, this time on behalf of Qinuo Van Dyk. Qinuo and Edward had been together 13 years, married for 10. "Above all things, they were a loving and happy family," Lovelady said. Qinuo described her husband as loving, kind and warm, Lovelady said. The family was tight-knit, spending quality time together on evenings and weekends. As Lovelady spoke, a mother leaned over and whispered in her son's ear as she tried not to cry. She laid her head on his as he nodded, and her arm pulled him to her. Another mom hugged her daughter close as tears flooded her eyes. Edward Van Dyk was the softer parent, the one the boys sought out if they needed something, Lovelady said. Levi said Spencer evoked smiles from everyone he encountered. "He was just a joy to be around and such a gentle spirit," Levi said. "He loved playing with the cars. His joy was infectious." Peter Vonzurmuehlen, playground monitor at the Sunday school, said he knew Carl and Spencer better than their parents. "For my part, I only saw them for a few hours on Sunday," Vonzurmuehlen said. "Spencer was only four; he was just in the nursery. He was with the other kids and they'd play." Both Levi and Vonzurmuehlen said the boys were smart and expressed disbelief at the double murder and suicide. "It's too enormous to put into a few words," Vonzurmuehlen said. Lovelady said the family hadn't been with the Ethical Society for too long and she didn't know the Van Dyks all that well. McMullen said he knew Edward Van Dyk through his work at the Cancer Care Center. "He was very open to patients talking to him about anything," McMullen said. Treatment for patients at the Cancer Care Center at Alton Memorial has been continued, McMullen said. A temporary physician from the Belleville Cancer Center volunteered to take over Van Dyk's position until a permanent physician is hired. "We are recruiting actively for a new medical director," McMullen said. However, McMullen said Edward Van Dyk and his contributions to the center will not be forgotten. "It's time to move on and continue the legacy that he left," McMullen said. stephanie_kiszczak@thetelegraph.com

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