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I Confess: Cineplex Drove Me to Piracy

By CheeseburgerBrown in Meta
Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 10:29:05 PM EST
Tags: bittorrent, movies, piracy, IP rental, DVD, theater, cineplex, rant (all tags)
Movies

Seeing motion pictures exhibited in film projection theatres is a dying tradition which we will one day tell our grandchildren about in order to bore them.

The causes of this death are obvious to many consumers, but mystify movie studios and exhibitors alike.

What follows is an open letter to the proprietors of Cineplex Entertainment LP, carbon copied here to you, the K5 community, in order that you may share in my vitriol.


Dear Cineplex mongoloids,

This past weekend my wife and I visited one of your cinemas with the intention of seeing Guillermo del Toro's dark fantasy picture, Pan's Labyrinth. As you may know, Pan's Labyrinth is a Spanish-language feature showing with English subtitles in North America.

During the quarter hour of commercials that began playing at showtime I was chagrined to note that the quality of the picture was very poor: fuzzy, mingled with bits of hair and dust, and sporadically losing registration. Never the less, we had paid over $20 between the two of us to see Pan's Labyrinth on the big screen so we hoped things would improve once the feature began.

Once it did begin, however, my wife and I and the audience of which we formed part were confused when it seemed that only every alternate of dialogue had been subtitled. Worse still, those incomplete subtitles were being projected on the floor below the screen.

As the film progressed two things became clear: 1) the projection was so badly misframed that the missing half of the subtitles couldn't even be seen splayed blurrily across the floor, but must have in fact been being displayed on the inside of the projection booth; and 2) nobody was interested in this situation other than those of us in the theatre -- the booth was unmanned, or manned by someone with severe mental and/or visual handicaps.

I left the theatre and asked the retarded girl by the velvet ropes how we might go about remedying the situation. This question (and simplified variants thereof) caused her bewilderment and fear despite the fact that I'm not a very intimidating guy. She said my wife and I would have to go the main box office to complain.

At the main box office we were obliged to stand in line behind a herd of patrons buying tickets for the next show. When we finally did arrive at the cashier the manager interrupted our complaint to assure us that the problem could easily be fixed. "So, are you going to start the movie over again?" I asked.

The manager looked as hurt and confused as the poor retarded girl had. "I'm sorry?" he said.

I repeated my question.

"Oh no," he said, "we can't do that."

"Well then, we'll have our money back please."

"I'll have somebody fix it in a jiff," insisted the manager.

"Yes, but we've already missed most of the first act, haven't we?" I pointed out. "We paid over ten dollars each to see this movie on the big screen, and you're telling me that you mangled the beginning but you have no intention whatsoever of making good on our moviegoing experience?"

"No, no," argued the manager. "You can have your money back."

I sighed, drawing my hand wearily down my face. "Fine. Thank you."

The manager rushed off to supervise of the correction of the movie's framing while the cashier attempted to give us our money back. I handed her our transaction receipt, which she looked at as if it were covered in alien glyphs. "Where are your tickets?" she asked.

"I guess they're in the theatre. There's my receipt."

"You'll have to go back to the theatre to get them."

"What? Why?"

"I can't process a refund without your tickets."

My wife groaned. "Surely the receipt proves we paid for the movie. I mean, that's what a receipt is for."

"Yeah, but it doesn't have the special bar code I need to scan or the computer won't let me do anything," explained the cashier.

"You expect us to fish around in a dark theatre to find two slips of paper under our seats?" I asked.

"Well," said the cashier, experiencing a brainwave, "or I could get my manager to issue you two free passes."

"Fine. I don't care. Do it."

The manager, of course, was busy supervising the reframing of the bungled movie. When he got back the entire situation was explained to him afresh, at which point he issued us two free passes to see another attempt at showing a movie at this or any other Cineplex location in Canada. "No, I want my money back," I pressed.

"The computer won't let me do that, sir," said the manager.

"Not a lot of dignity in your job, is there?" snapped my wife. "You're junior to a PC."

"I don't make the rules, ma'am," said the manager.

I snorted. "You guys really don't get it, do you?" I said, shaking my head.

"What?" said the manager, furrowing his brow.

"You expect us to pay $20 to see a movie once in the theatre instead of waiting a couple of months to pay $25 to own a copy on DVD. All we ask you to do is to show the movie big and clear, so it looks better than on our TV at home -- and you can't even do that right. The picture's fuzzy and you don't even care enough to have somebody check that it's projecting properly. And when it turns out that it isn't projecting properly all you're prepared to offer us is the opportunity to be similarly screwed by your incompetent operation again in the future. And you ninnies wonder why profits are down?"

"Like I said, sir, we're prepared to give you these passes --"

"I don't want passes," I reiterated. "Don't you get it? We're not coming back here again. We're going to go home, download a screener DVD of the movie over BitTorrent, and then watch it at home. For free. Where we can pause it any time we want to go the washroom or fix a snack. That's what you're competing against."

"Listen, if you want to engage in illegal activities that's not really my issue."

"Are you giving us our fucking money back or not?"

"Sir, there's no need to --"

"Are you giving us our fucking money back, or not?"

Other would-be patrons in line were staring. The manager turned pink, looked at his shoes, then went to the til and gave us our money back. "I'm sorry you had an unfortunate experience here today," he mumbled.

So we went home and started downloading a DVD screener of Pan's Labyrinth. The download was complete by the following evening, so we burned a DVD, curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, and enjoyed watching our movie with a crisp picture and subtitles visible from the start.

The movie was good, so I'll consider buying a licensed version of the DVD when it comes out in a couple of months in order to support Guillermo and the folks at Picturehouse. I will not, however, consider throwing my money away at Cineplex again.

You suck.


Sincerely,

Cheeseburger Brown


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Poll
Where do you watch movies?
o In a theatre. 32%
o In a theater. 8%
o In a theedur. 4%
o Via BitTorrent. 60%
o Via Netflix. 10%
o Via Blockbuster. 15%
o Via other paid download. 2%
o Psychic channeling. 4%
o Years later, on TV. 45%
o On a boat, with a goat. 10%
o Movies offend my prophets. 4%
o Wait for it on DVD 43%
o Wait for it on PSP + Blu Ray! 4%
o Wait for it on HD-DVD 4%
o Wait for it in holographic re-release with extra ewoks and Greedo shoots first. 8%

Votes: 46
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Cineplex Entertainment LP
o Pan's Labyrinth
o BitTorrent
o Cheeseburg er Brown
o Also by CheeseburgerBrown


Display: Sort:
I Confess: Cineplex Drove Me to Piracy | 213 comments (211 topical, 2 editorial, 1 hidden)
A riveting tale of two assholes (1.66 / 24) (#1)
by I am teh Unsmart on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 11:35:26 AM EST

demanding a refund from two cogs in a large machine, because the foreign film three people were watching was projected onto the floor where you extra chromosome folks could see it without risking injury to your necks.

The diary section eagerly awaits your vitriolic treatment of the obviously decaying cinematic tradition.

-1 diary (1.37 / 16) (#2)
by Tex Bigballs on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 11:39:58 AM EST

two self-affected retards who think they're somehow artistically enlightened because they're watching some obscure foreign film sharing with us a letter written over $20 fucking dollars to some po dunk movie house nobody on k5 will ever visit

You don't want the MPAA after you ... (2.40 / 5) (#6)
by shm on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 11:56:27 AM EST

... so I'm voting this down.

Also, I don't like your  stories, but that has nothing to do with this one.

And also, take it to Teh Husi.


well, well, well (2.30 / 13) (#8)
by BottleRocket on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 12:15:11 PM EST

wellity, wellity, well.

welli-tittily, wellitit-tit-tittily, well. look who the tide dragged in. come to peddle more of your wares, cheeseburgerbrown? come to whore your links and crosspost your blog? what's happened? pagerank getting a little soft? you know it's been a while. you haven't been buttering us up with serial sci-fi's or whimsical anecdotes about sex.

$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
. ₩ . . . . . ¥ . . . . . € . . . . . § . . . . . £
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
Yes I do download [child pornography], but I don't keep it any longer than I need to, so it can yield insight as to how to find more. --MDC
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
. ₩ . . . . . ¥ . . . . . € . . . . . § . . . . . £
$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
$B R Σ III$

As I recently complained (1.66 / 6) (#10)
by SaintPort on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 12:34:20 PM EST

the man is driving us to it.

Again, does anyone know a good service for legal music downloads for Win 95/98/Me ?

Thought not.

WalMart, Napster, iTunes...
all WinXP.

--
Search the Scriptures
Start with some cheap grace...Got Life?

I don't think its ever necessary to (2.00 / 11) (#12)
by apple on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 12:44:24 PM EST

resort to swearing at people, and I don't think it's necessary to call anyone a retard in your letter. You're obviously still angry over the whole thing, but it's enough to simply be calmly insistent in these cases. There's no point in getting angry, you'll just cause yourself stress. And it's unfair to take your anger out on people. I don't think it's permissable to attack people unless they've deliberately attacked you. Your letter makes you seem somewhat of an unpleasant character.

-----------------
Sem4phore.org

Methinks this has more to do (2.43 / 16) (#14)
by LilDebbie on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 12:53:07 PM EST

with the crappy movie theatre you went to.

I too saw Pan's Labyrinthe yesterday. I paid a little more, seeing as it wasn't fake Canadian money ($7 for the ticket and $4.50 for a large Diet Coke because I hate my bladder), but my experience (aside from the urinary discomfort) was excellent.

First, let me unabashedly plug the fine proprietors of the theatre in question: AMC Theaters. As a veteran of the movie theatre business [full disclosure: United Artists], believe me when I say that no one does it better than AMC. The cinema in question has stadium seating, large, reclining seats, a massive, crystal clear screen, and excellent sound, though I'm not a big enough audiophile to properly comment on the latter.

Hell, even the pre-show adverts, which stop running at the posted showtime, were tastefully done and entertaining in their own right. Oh yeah, and the only missing subtitles were repetitions and the occasional "hola," and if you need a subtitle for that, I have to ask who gave you the money to see a movie, because you obviously lack the intelligence to earn it yourself.

While I wholeheartedly agree that a lot of cinemas completely fail it when it comes to providing an excellent movie watching experience, there are well-managed theatres out there, and the Big Screen will be around for us to take our grandchildren to see yet another mind-numbing animated kid's flick about talking animals.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

In Canadian Dollars the Fines are Small. (2.25 / 8) (#23)
by CheeseburgerBrown on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 01:28:25 PM EST

Although I wouldn't put it past the MPAA to deport me to Syria to be tortured.


_____
I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da. We are a simple, grease-loving people who
you got your money back, but at what price? (2.50 / 6) (#31)
by cattleprod of peace on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 03:29:45 PM EST



+10000000 (2.00 / 10) (#34)
by /dev/trash on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 06:05:18 PM EST

Please do post a followup when Cineplex Corporate sends you two free passes for any movie of your choice.

---
Updated 02/20/2004
New Site
rolls eyes (2.23 / 13) (#35)
by circletimessquare on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 06:17:22 PM EST

no media ever dies. people used to sit around vacuum tube radios, listening to "only the shadow knows" in the 1920s. of course, radio isn't front and center anymore in culture, but it has a niche it will always fill. it just faded some. likewise newspaper: the internet is eating newspapers alive, but they will never, ever go away. there will always be a time and place when they are needed and are superior to the web, and newspapers will morph to fill that niche like radio has turned into a drive time format. television was supposed to kill cinema in the 1950s. so why the fuck is it still around then oh great geniuses?

take those lessons and a million more about "dead" media and apply it to cinema. all of burger dude's complaints above apply to a bad experience intrinsic to the specific screening he went to, not the concept of going to see movies itself. talk about being hysterical, "i had a bad experience at the movies this weekend! therefore the very concept of cinema itself is doomed!" pffft

additionally, psychologists have done studies showing that people actually subconsciously like the ooohs and aahs and laughs and startles of their fellow popcorn munchers at a movie. yes, a site like k5, populated by asocial emotionally autitistic basement dwellers won't admit to the fact, but people apparently have an enhanced emotional experience in a packed theatre, subconciously. consciously they will complain about babies and cell phones, but that's what a lot of people do: whine and bitch and moan... and still go to the movies. fuckers whine about greenhouse gases and global warming, but they still get in their cars every day too. people whine. and then forget about it. cest la vie

look at you burger dude: it's january 2007. you could have been downloading and watching movies in your den on your 17" monitor by yourself in 2003 (ooh! how exciting!). but you're still going to the theatre. as if your diatribe above is something that just occured to you. it's not the last straw. instead, after your hemming and hawing above, in 3 months you'll be back in the theatre, and i won't be a smarmy know-it-all and go "i told you so"

...but when you are in your theatre seat in march 2007, think of cts, and i will be silently mouthing words in your head...

"i... told... you... so..."

;-P

the cinema isn't going anywhere. no matter what a bunch of emotionally autistic fucktards on k5 have to say about the subject. look only for future growth. that's a fact


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

seriously though? you were a bit of an ass (1.80 / 10) (#37)
by Private Papers on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 07:05:03 PM EST

that guy is probably making a little over minimum wage as a bot to follow the manual to the word. he has to do what he's told and all you really did is embarrass the poor man over $20.

i hope you're proud of yourself making a scene over twenty bucks. fuck it just don't go back you drama queen.
--
let me show you my private papers
let me show you them

Video killed the radio star! (2.33 / 12) (#38)
by livus on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 07:39:27 PM EST

in my mind and in my car. We can't rewind we've gone too far.

I take the main point of this, and agree. I've had similar experiences at NZ$32, including one where the whole thing just froze about 3/4 of the way through a long film and they thought we should come back another day and sit through the whole thing again.

That said, I would never, ever go with the two of you to a public place. Rudeness punctuated by sighing, groaning, snapping and snorting - your mother should be slapped, if these manners are her fault.

And her mother should have told you that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, that you should never shoot the messenger, and various other useful aphorisms.


---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

Hmm (2.64 / 14) (#48)
by trhurler on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 10:45:59 PM EST

You realize the manager is probably some barely literate tardlick bound for a "career" as an insurance salesman or an accountant or something like that, right? I mean, not that you were in the wrong to demand your money back, but expecting him to be competent was pretty much asinine, not because he shouldn't be competent, but because you should have known he wouldn't be.

--
'God dammit, your posts make me hard.' --LilDebbie

Please for the love of God (2.69 / 13) (#55)
by thankyougustad on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 11:12:53 PM EST

Return the post threshold to where it used to be.

No no thanks no
Je n'aime que le bourbon
no no thanks no
c'est une affaire de goût.

How fast was this voted up? (1.20 / 5) (#56)
by LittleZephyr on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 11:26:00 PM EST


(\♥/) What if instead of posting that comment,
(0.-) you had actually taken a knife and stabbed
("_") me in the eye? You murderer. ~ Rusty

That was quick... (1.50 / 4) (#57)
by superdiva on Sun Jan 28, 2007 at 11:26:07 PM EST

...just a reminder, weren't you and Egil suppose to do some collaborative writing thingy?  8th trimester reports on your sons or something?...

ah nevermind.
_____________________________________________

Psych-E.org

Your wife is a bitch. (1.94 / 17) (#58)
by swifty on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 12:15:33 AM EST

Oh, and you were both trolled by a bunch of kids who were probably snickering inside at your pitiful $20 power trip. It probably took so long to get a refund for the same reasons that the fast food you two grab at the drive-through always comes out tasting like snot and semen.

Freiheit ist immer auch die freiheit des anderen.
Usual CBB massaging of the truth (2.30 / 20) (#61)
by A Bore on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 02:33:29 AM EST

If you aren't aware, CheeseborerBrown is an admitted liar who fabricates dialogue in an attempt to make himself seem cooler, more urbane and wittier than he is in REEL LIFE. You can see this process in this highly fictionalised "complaint letter / life boasting". Take, for example, this excerpt:

I snorted. "You guys really don't get it, do you?" I said, shaking my head.

"What?" said the manager, furrowing his brow.

"You expect us to pay $20 to see a movie...


This is classic CBB invention. The 'dumb' manager, unable to understand (due to his 'furrowed brow') er.. what exactly?, gives CBB the perfect setup to explain at length in a nice condensed paragraph what would never be expressed in real life dialogue, exactly how he is going to get one over these pitiful fools who shafted him out of $20.

I mean, really, what is puzzling the manager here, think about it. A customer is complaining. He has put across his complaints. He is asking for a refund. Yet he is still puzzled. Why is this guy asking for a refund, he thinks. Or why is this man so upset - I must ask him to elucidate his grievances at length. How fucking ridiculous.

The real story is CB got stiffed out of 20 whole bucks and made up a story when he got home in his rich world of fantasy about how he really showed them all anyway.

It is the empty tin that rattles the most.

after I finish this post (1.69 / 13) (#62)
by alizard on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 02:40:53 AM EST

I'm going to delete my account here.

If a user can't do this from inside the account settings, I request that the webmaster unplug me... and if I'm still getting newsletters in a few days, they're going to be forwarded to Spamcop

K5 used to be a hangout for bright, articulate people with some sort of clue as to what goes on in the world around us.

The daily newsletter from this site used to list diaries I'd immediately click on because I absolutely had to see the rest of the diary and discussion... this is the first one I've clicked on in quite some time.

The pathetic asshole corporate ass-kissers around here condemning the diarist for daring to assert his right to get his money's worth for the money he's shelled out shows what's happened to K5. It's gone from one of the most interesting blogs on the web to a waste of time.

I am no longer part of your group and no longer wish to be associated with it in any way, shape, or form.

May K5 rest in peace.
"The horse is dead. Fuck it or walk away, but stop beating it." Juan Rico

Oh, Christ. (2.00 / 13) (#66)
by For Serious on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 04:04:54 AM EST

I get the feeling that your nerd speech about THA WONDERZ OF WATCHING SCREENERZ ON THE PLAZMA didn't quite get the resounding ovation you were possibly hoping for with this relay to the K5 crowd.

At least the teenagers, the couples, the want-to-get-out-of-the-house types--they all got a good show as your wife acted like a snarky cunt and you tore apart some pleb about this and that and a bunch of other shit he really couldn't care less about.

:)

what the fuck? (2.70 / 10) (#68)
by mirko on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 04:36:43 AM EST


"You expect us to fish around in a dark theatre to find two slips of paper under our seats?" I asked.

Why don't you use a dustbin?
As a Swiss resident, I consider this a huge lack of respect for the others cineplex users... Is this a US custom to throw things away instead of disposing this a more civilized way in a bin?
--
Finally I managed to make the decision that I would work on it. - MDC
we had to huddle together - trane
Pointless. (2.61 / 13) (#69)
by node500 on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 04:57:19 AM EST

There was no need to be rude to the people at the theatre as mistakes do happen. You should also know that he was right in saying he could not refund you without the valid tickets since everything is done with computers.

Why did you throw away your tickets in the first place during your stay in the cinema and also not even in a bin or anything?

Seems to me that they were trying to help you and you were very ungrateful.

Getting angry doesn't help, (2.11 / 9) (#72)
by squigly on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 07:50:11 AM EST

There are better ways to complain.  There's no reason to be an areshole about it.  Make a complaint, be polite, make sure they see the problem, and let them fix it.  

You wanted them to restart the movie.  That's not likely to happen.  Cinemas have schedules that can't be interrupted, and this runs the risk of annoying other patrons.  They offered the next best thing, which was a free ticket.  You could have then gone to the next showing.

You wanted a refund.  For some reason you didn't still have the ticket stub.  Why not?  What if they agreed to estart the movie?  How would you have got back in?  It's hardly an unreasonable expectation tat you would hang onto it.

The corporate execs have insisted that their staff are subordinate to a computer.  Corporate have found this more efficient.  What are the staff to do about it?  Yelling at them isn't going to make them throw out the computers.  No, there's not a lot of dignity in their jobs.  Do you feel more of a man when you tell them that?

I'm completely sympathetic (2.54 / 11) (#77)
by timek718 on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 08:51:44 AM EST

Unfortunately, politeness doesn't go far in dealing with large corporations. Experience has shown a judicious use of swearing, can accomplish a great deal.

The last movie I saw, or rather attempted to see, was "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." My wife & I wanted to see it, it was the weekend right before we moved out of NYC. After the birth of our first child, we didn't have the time to go to the movies. And after the birth of our second, let's just leave it that we found our entertainment elsewhere.

About 20 minutes after the commercials, someone pulled a fire alarm. Luckily, the fire alarm was something management couldn't & wouldn't deny. Everyone got their money back, of course. I doubt the management would have beens so readily forthcoming with refunds, otherwise. But we didn't have the time or opportunity to see the movie again. I did the same as the author.

Anyway, from a quick perusal of the posts, it seems that most people have anger issues. The mere thought of swearing at some hapless representative of a large, exploitive, faceless corporation, makes them uncomfortable. The uncomfortable truth is that there are times when one's self-respect requires a little bit of anger & yes, even swearing.

I've worked behind the counter, so to speak. I've worked in the service industry. The excuses are always the same: I'm just following orders company policy. Corporations whatever they were once upon a time, have the important function allowing individuals to disown responsibility for their actions.

Further, the actions of the manager at the end, proves, if nothing else, that the tickets were not needed. The manager was lying. Anyone here still want to be oh so cool & still defend him & Cineplex?

Interesting... (2.28 / 14) (#83)
by Zombie Schrodingers Cat on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 09:55:18 AM EST

I don't get why people are so upset about CBB's behaviour. One of the things lacking in our society is personal responsibility. No one ever stands up and says "this is my fault" or "I'll fix this for you". Its always "this is our policy" or "the computer won't allow me to do that" or whatever.

That manager's job was customer relations. People here seem to think the guy doesn't have a choice, he has to do whatever his corporate masters dictate via their policy manual. That's bullshit. There's always a choice. He can choose to follow his common sense and help the customer and defy corporate policy. Or he can ignore common sense and follow corporate policy.

Yes, defying corporate policy may cost the dude his job. But as its been pointed out, its only a minimum wage job. Is it worth minimum wage to be a proxy asshole for some faceless corporation? If he chooses to blindly follow corporate policy, then he deserves whatever abuse he gets.

Its interesting how people have gotten so used to the corporate way of thinking, that they no longer think of the theater manager as a person capable of independent thought. He's just a poor minimum wage slob working for a faceless corporation. We should pity him, like some animal caught in a trap. Jesus Christ people. He's a human being. He is capable of making choices. And when he make a choice that screws you, then its perfectly acceptible to get pissed off at him. To do anything less is to deny that he is a human being.

Probably should have (2.00 / 7) (#87)
by Advanced Robotics on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 10:04:41 AM EST

stayed in the diary ghetto.

It would have been nice to have condensed this to a couple of paragraphs, then give a review of the movie.


mrs. z and i go to a movie: (2.40 / 5) (#97)
by zenofchai on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 12:32:31 PM EST

we don't get out much since baby z came along last october. (this would be our 2nd film since then!) we headed to see "children of men" at the local cinema. we got to the ticket booth and asked for 2 tickets, when we were informed: "sorry, half of our projectors are out for repair. that movie isn't showing." (this was quite annoying since the time for the movie was online and in the paper, but hey, not her fault.) not wanting to give up on the evening since we had a sitter and all, we drove to the big cinemapleximacallit in a different part of town and saw pan's labyrinth. we had a good experience there, good comfy seats, clean, good film quality and sound. very unlike our local cinema which usually has patrons on cell phones or snoring loudly amidst sticky floors and craptastic sound and visual quality. the nicer cinemapleximacallit did itself proud and we'll be back -- if we ever get out for a movie again before we're 50 ;]

(although the local cinema was supposedly installing new digital projection systems, etc, so we'll give 'em another try when we hear those are up and running.)

CBB: I go waaaay back liking yer stories an' all, but this would have been a lot better experience if you'd just kept your tickets with you instead of littering the theatre floor with them. (and yes i agree the cinema was a bizarre fantasyland of craptitude for not having the basics of "(1) load film (2) display film (3) make sure it doesn't look and/or sound like shit" down pat. you got screwed by some lazy and or crappy employees and likely lazy and or crappy shift manager: lazy and or crappy employees like 95% of people making a few loonies an hour and no real reason (since there is no personal pride) to actually do their work well.)
--
The K5 Interactive Political Compass SVG Graph

The theatre experience has changed (2.33 / 6) (#98)
by hatshepsut on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 12:40:38 PM EST

I would agree with the author about many things, including the completely uncaring attitude from the theatre management. I have never had quite the same poor quality of experience at the theatre, but I recall registering a complaint regarding a large number of teens who decided to give some friends a blow-by-blow description of the movie, via cell-phone, WHILE THE MOVIE WAS PLAYING. The gist of the response I received was "I'll talk to them after the show".

That said, I am not a huge believer in eye-rolling, heaving sighs, personal verbal attacks or swearing as a means by which to convey my displeasure. I think you were right to get your $20 back (I certainly would have done the same). Unlike too many posters above, I don't think that a manager should be cut any slack due to being "a minimum wage shmuck" or whatever. Either said person is the manager (and therefore responsible for the operation of the theatre ) or they are not. If they are, then buck up and deal with unhappy patrons.

I am very much looking forward to renting Pan's Labyrinth as it sounds like it should be interesting and entertaining (though very dark, from what I have heard). I will watch the movie, in the comfort of my TV room, possibly with some nice fresh popcorn (not overly soaked in "butter-like substance"). My feet will not stick to the floor. I won't have to deal with the annoying personal habits or BO of people near me. I won't have to put up with idiots with PDAs or cell phones. Bliss!

In closing, I sincerely hope that the movie studios notice the difference between the $13 it would take me to catch a show at the theatre, and the $3 it takes for me to rent the movie for myself and some friends at home. Maybe then someone, somewhere, will take note...

Dude. The problem is both them and you. (2.14 / 7) (#106)
by sudog on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 03:40:07 PM EST

Keep your ticket stubs.

That's a no-brainer. Every movie theatre I've ever been in has required the ticket stubs to receive a refund since I was a tot--receipt or not! It has little to nothing to do with the barcode. Also, without the ticket stubs, you usually can't get back in the theatre. It's been that way, too, for as long as I can remember.

The stub is your receipt, not the Interac transaction record.

There are plenty of movie theatres that do have superlative quality. Just because yours didn't doesn't mean they all don't. How is it the movie producer's fault that your particular theatre has dirty projection equipment? That's the individual theatre's fault.

And, I pay less than $20 for my movies (actually ~ $15 CAD for the both of us) at the local Silver Cities. That's still worth it to me.

It is their fault for not refunding your money promptly and escorting you out; however, how do you expect them to protect themselves against a double-refund if all you do is present something other than the ticket stub, when they've geared their entire operations towards tracking tickets?

Still, they should've refunded your money promptly.

The so-called DVD screener isn't a DVD screener. The top-traded torrents (all 20 or more of them) are shitty VCD (half aren't even SVCD) quantized versions of the screener that have shitty video quality. If you think that's better quality than a twenty-speaker surround-sound three-story-tall movie theatre screen.. go visit the optometrist.

The only problems with movie theatres right now that would make me choose my home theatre over the big-screen are:

  1. Can't pause the movie.
  2. The other people in the theatre.
  3. The stupid jarring brown blotches that apparently only I can see that identify the print being shown to thwart handycam losers.

Everything else is mitigatable, and even #2 can be dealt with if you get the staff to come in and throw out the noisemakers (which is always fun to watch by itself.)


All I want to know is this: (1.00 / 4) (#107)
by Egil Skallagrimson on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 04:00:57 PM EST

was it Newmarket or Barrie? I've only been to the Newmarket one for kid's movies and I ain't going to Barrie.

But, on topic, I almost refuse to go to movies. Now that all my friends are the same age as me and have the same approximate amount of kids as me, I could care less whether or not I see the movie new in the theatre or not. If I catch it a year later and I watch it a hundred times after paying $5 for a used copy at Rogers/Blockbuster/Korean guy's convenience store, it matters not to me.

Viva la old guys!!!!!

----------------

Enterobacteria phage T2 is a virulent bacteriophage of the T4-like viruses genus, in the family Myoviridae. It infects E. coli and is the best known of the T-even phages. Its virion contains linear double-stranded DNA, terminally redundant and circularly permuted.

Quick note: (1.50 / 4) (#115)
by Mylakovich on Mon Jan 29, 2007 at 07:00:43 PM EST

My buddy and I were gonna go see "smoking aces" tonight.

Then I read reviews that say it's kinda lame.

So I'm download what I hope is the movie off bittorent now.

LOL movies.

Also, Im going to Iraq for 4 months. More on that later.

this just (1.62 / 8) (#125)
by wampswillion on Tue Jan 30, 2007 at 11:15:17 AM EST

describes an overall societal problem.  when things get too big- people don't care anymore and they don't care about other people anymore.

it's not just the movie industry.  it's hospitals and phone companies (namely -the A the T and the T) and schools and government offices and you name it-  

all would be better if everyone used the golden rule-  "treat others as you would want to be treated."  

a further note- i think it's the sweetest thing in the world that you and your wife went out for a date.  

as for apple's complaint that you behaved immaturely, well sure, you did, but i don't blame ya.  

one time i was in some trendy clothing store and i wanted to buy a sweater for my daughter.  however the last one of size of the sweater i wanted for her was on a mannikin.  so i asked the small anorexic child working there to please get the sweater off for me.  and she was horrified- "oh NO- that's against company policy.  let me call another store and i'll have it sent to you or you can drive across town."  ha!
well this escalated into a discusssion with two higher ranking baby-faced managers who did not probably shave yet and that was less than pretty and less than fruitful.  and i left without buying the sweater and a vow never to shop there again.  and i haven't.  ever.  
but i don't make a dent. it's a trendy place to shop- kids love to shop there.  
and that's the source of the frustration and the cause of immature behavior sometimes-  when you KNOW you are in the right, but you also KNOW you are going to lose the argument, no matter how much sense and logic you make.    

So where's the part they drove you to piracy? (2.75 / 8) (#146)
by godix on Wed Jan 31, 2007 at 09:36:40 PM EST

I see the part where they drove you out of the theater but I'm not seeing the part where you were forced to pirate the movie. Surely there are other theaters, other movie times, or even waiting to rent the movie. If all else, there's the unthinkable alternative of not see the movie. Oh noes, you might actually miss the movie!

Now don't get me wrong, I don't give a fuck about piracy really, not when I have six movies sitting on my HD right now. But this shit is in no way cause for piracy. Point A doesn't connect to point B here. Self justification like this just sounds like some whiny 16 year old shoplifter saying 'well if they wouldn't make their shit so expensive I wouldn't have to rip it off'. Riiiiight.

Face it, what this story says is that you freely liter all over the place. You throw a hissy fit when someone tries to provide reasonable accommodation. You demand people give you money despite that you have thrown away the proof you should recieve the money. Then you pretend any of this justifies outright theft. And since I'm quite sure you've padded the truth this is what the story says AFTER you've tried to make yourself look good. God knows how bad you'd look if we got an accurate description of the night. Face it, you were such an asshat that if this was an owner operated place instead of a corporate chain you would have had your butt kicked out of there and the never returning thing wouldn't be by YOUR choice.

CBB you need to return to K5. Hanging out at husi all the time has turned you into a pretentious asshole. I never thought another site could produce worse human beings than K5 trolls but apparently husi has managed it when they produced you.


- An egotist is someone who thinks they're almost as good as I am.

RE: A dying tradition? (1.75 / 4) (#147)
by simul on Thu Feb 01, 2007 at 03:37:25 PM EST

> Seeing motion pictures exhibited in
> film projection theatres is a dying
> tradition which we will one day tell
> our grandchildren about in order to bore them.

Humans enjoy group-mind experiences, which is why going to a movie will always be more exciting and will feel more rewarding than staying at home.  My suspicion is that this addiction plays an imporant survival role, and I doubt it's going to evolve away anytime soon.

Read this book - first 24 pages are free to browse - it rocks

sucks to be you (none / 0) (#188)
by tthomas48 on Wed Feb 07, 2007 at 01:14:59 PM EST

We have the Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin. You'll probably get one eventually. Once you have one you'll realize that you really do want to see movies in the theater. The problem is the crappy corporate chains. It's not the act of seeing a movie in the theater.

Take it easy (none / 0) (#208)
by hans on Thu Feb 15, 2007 at 05:38:20 PM EST

I agree with you.  I rarely go to movies because the experience -- dirty floors, obnoxious people, overpriced crap -- sucks in comparison to waiting for it to arrive via Netflix and watching it on my roommate's 74" TV.  Just don't abuse the chumps whose job it is to be crippled by policy.  Their life is obviously bad enough that they're working in a movie theater chain.

Agreed 100% (none / 0) (#209)
by skintigh on Fri Feb 16, 2007 at 05:47:17 PM EST

I do not understand the negative comments you've been getting.  While I suppose I might agree against swearing in public, sometimes it's warranted.

I, too, go to see a movie ONLY to see it on a better system than my own.  I rarely see movies in the theater, and then only ones that justify a huge screen or ones that justify the $20-$40 bill (i.e. hot date)

And what do I often get for my money?  

o A viewing of Star Wars in a THX-certified theater with a blown speaker waffling the sound and gummybears and soda stains on the screen.  

o I was dragged along to Mystic River in a theater where the sound was so bad I could barely understand a single word, and that movie is all dialog.  They refunded all of us our money, and mentioned they had refunded the previous audience, BUT NOT FIXED THE SOUND.

o Numerous other movies where the sound was bad, the screen was stained, and where audience members took phone calls or talked to the screen.

I am willing to pay for a good movie on a good system at a place with good service.  Remove any one of those three, and I am out of there and never coming back, and renting or possibly downloading the flick.

In your case, they removed two: horrible image, and horrible service where they gave the OBVIOUSLY FALSE excuse that they couldn't refund you, right up until the refunded you.  The offer to let you pay full price to watch half the movie was truly touching.

Would they have stopped lying and refunded you your money had you not sworn and made a scene?

Highly unlikely.

My personal solution: I only see movies at Alamo Drafthouse.  Okay sound and image, but because it's a bar... NO KIDS!!!  Of course, my viewing of Children of Man was slightly marred by some loud geezers who couldn't follow the plot, but nothing's perfect.

What is the punishment for an off-topic post? (none / 0) (#210)
by tilly on Mon Feb 19, 2007 at 07:31:56 PM EST

See "The Lives of Others (Das Leben der Anderen)" to learn what it is like to live in an un-free country.

Because we are already there.

You forgot one! (none / 0) (#211)
by Trifthen on Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 08:40:27 PM EST

Blogspam!  It seems like some significant percentage of DIGG submissions are just links to some dude's blog commenting about the article instead of the actual source material.  This blog may link to yet another blog, which links to... etc.  Every time this happens, I want to reach through the screen and slap the submitter.  It wouldn't be so bad if things like that got dug down, but...

I Confess: Cineplex Drove Me to Piracy | 213 comments (211 topical, 2 editorial, 1 hidden)
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