A Story from Long Ago By Owa Tajer Kyam in Owa Tajer Kyam's Diary Fri Apr 22, 2005 at 06:15:50 AM EST Tags: User Diary (all tags)
	I think perhaps because I was so tired from the two hour commute, that I have to put up with, my brain went into a strange zone. For some reason I remembered this story that was sent to me, in the form of a letter (Yes BE..before email), about thirty years ago from my high school friend, then in college.  I was going to send it from my job, whilst fresh in my mind, but realized it would violate corporate policy, so I backed off and decided to send it from home.  This story has received numerous laughs when you have been partying with folks and can recite it all in less than one minute. The author or authors are unknown and I honestly wished I knew who wrote this wonderful piece so I could give them the credit that is duly deserved. I think it is correct verbatum but the punctuation and spelling may suck a bit.... Ok a few beers down already...

And now for your consideration: LITTLE DAVID In the days of kings and castrations when there were high counts, low counts, and counts of no account, and all the knights sat around the round table rolling camel turd, because in those days bull shit was unheard of, Little David rode up to the palace gates. "Halt!", said the Guard "No!", said David, and for that, David was sentenced to the dungeon, but with one bar of chocolate Exlax. "You'll starve if you don't!", said the Guard "I'll shit if I do!", said David, and for that, David was taken to the lion's den. The lion walked up to David and put his paw on David's left shoulder. David, being the sneaky bastard that he was, hauled off and kicked the lion in the left nut. "That tickles.", said the lion "What tickles?", asked David "Testicles!", said the lion, and for that, David was brought before the king. David slipped on shit. The shit flew at random. Random ducked. The shit hit the king in the face. "Aw shit!", said the king, and with that, 40,000 pairs of metal pants hit the floor, because in those days, the king's word was LAW. "How's the Queen?", asked the king "She's in bed with gonorrhea.", said the Duke "That sly bastard, I thought he left with the Italians!" "How's the Princess?", asked the Duke. "Fuck the Princess.", said the King, and with that, 40,000 metal men were trampled to death trying to get to the Princess's quarters. But David, being the sneaky bastard that he was, got there first. "Roll over pretty baby.", said David "I'll be fucked if I will!", said the Princess "You'll be corn-holed if you don't!"......and so she was. Then David partly sensing his presence was uncalled for and partly because he was bored with the whole situation, jumped on his gleaming white Camelot and rode off in all directions.

Related Links

Owa Tajer Kyam's Diary