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Ben Franklin would have been an internet troll

By Lemon Juice in Lemon Juice's Diary
Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 08:46:38 PM EST
Tags: User Diary (all tags)
User Diary

I'm in the company of geniuses. In fact I am a genius. Many of you wouldn't agree, but it is true.


In 1722 a series of letters appeared in the New-England Courant written by a middle-aged widow named 'Silence Dogood'. The letters poked fun at various aspects of life in colonial America, such as the drunkenness of locals and the fashion for hoop petticoats.

Silence was particularly fond of ridiculing Harvard. She complained that it had been ruined by corruption and elitism, and that most of its students learned nothing there except how to be conceited.

Silence also wrote that she had once been married to a minister with whom she had lived for seven years before he had died, leaving her with three children. She coyly admitted that she didn't enjoy the life of a widow and could be easily persuaded to marry again.

The readers of the Courant thought she was a charming woman. So charming, in fact, that a few of the male readers themselves wrote in, upon learning that she was single, and offered to marry her.

Unfortunately for her would-be suitors, Silence Dogood didn't exist. She was the invention of a sixteen year-old boy named Benjamin Franklin whose older brother, James, was a printer in Boston. It is not known whether James was privy to the true identity of Silence Dogood, or whether, like the rest of Boston, he was fooled by his younger brother.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/dogood.html

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Ben Franklin would have been an internet troll | 31 comments (31 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)
funny (none / 1) (#1)
by wampswillion on Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 08:55:00 PM EST

and really.  are you really a genius?

Franklin woulda pissed on Slashdot (none / 1) (#2)
by nostalgiphile on Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 09:09:06 PM EST

And btw, the Silence Dogood story is news only if you didn't take American lit or see that lameass Nicholas Cage movie "National Treasure."

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
In the 18th century everyone was a troll (3.00 / 2) (#3)
by endeavor on Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 09:15:07 PM EST

Really.

In Franklin's day it was en vogue to write under a pseudonym or a complete characture. It served both a literary end and a shrewd, practical end: it allowed the author to frame the argument in a context that furthered his own argument; and it made it rather difficult for opponents to attack the author personally.

BF had many such pseudonyms that he used throughout his life as an author and publisher. Once during a period of pre-American Revolution negotiations, he wrote an opinion piece in a British newspaper, pretending to be a sympathetic Englishman, arguing that the American demands had merit worthy of serious consideration.

On one occasion he even went so far as to fabricate an entire newspaper: Intending to reframe the British loyalist arguments of his opponents as he saw it, he rewrote their position as an issue of a fake newspaper--complete with fake advertisements and obituaries.

A troll, certainly. But an *Internet* troll? (1.50 / 2) (#5)
by MichaelCrawford on Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 09:22:53 PM EST

Our tragic times desperately need someone like Franklin to raise the level of troll discourse.

Trolling has sufferred from high-tech in much the same way as journalism has: it has developed a short attention span, both for the writer and the reader.

While I imagine Silence Dogood labored for weeks or even months to craft her joke, how much time and effort does one have to devote to say "You fucking linkwhore?" in response to one of my posts?

I wouldn't mind being called a linkwhore nearly so much if my enemies lifted a finger to insult me as well and in as much detail as Franklin would have, had he lived long enough to object to my whoring.


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


If Ben Franklin were alive today (none / 1) (#6)
by Orion Blastar Again on Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 09:34:06 PM EST

he would be posting on K5 as Orion Blastar or Orion Blastar Again, using his mother's AOL Dial-Up Account from her trailer on her eMachines 700Mhz Intel Celeron system running Windows ME with 64M of RAM and a 56K HSP WinModem, and drink lots of Diet Coke with Lime to make sure that he stays awake long enough to read the responses to his diaries and posts.

Since his Orion Blastar account got anonymized, he would have to use his Orion Blastar Again account. Then 200 years later, historians would search UltimateMetaYahooAOLGoogle which has archives of 21st century websites, and then cite him for his genius of posting as his Orion Blastar character.

Learn how to be a liberal.
I can't believe it's not Liberalism!
"Thanks for the pointers on using the internet. You're links to uncylopedia have turned my life around." -zenador

Ben Franklin (none / 0) (#7)
by bobpence on Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 09:40:49 PM EST

Grew up in Boston, did much of his work in Philadelphia, but given that he died the same year D.C. was founded...

... why the heck is he the mascot of the D.C.-area Chevy Chase Bank?

Especially as the current TV ads focus on local control of the bank, why import a mascot from elsewhere? It just seems wrong somehow.


"Interesting. No wait, the other thing: tedious." - Bender

z (none / 0) (#11)
by GotoHospital on Wed Nov 16, 2005 at 01:53:04 AM EST

Didn't Abraham Lincoln get caught pseudonymously trolling in the local newspaper and get threatened therefore? And didn't that affect his character, like his method of putting mean letters he would send to his generals in his drawer instead of the post? Maybe you could write a pre-Internet troll book.
nested¢ evolution is still interesting. talk.origins faq.
it sounds like (none / 0) (#30)
by wampswillion on Mon Nov 21, 2005 at 10:05:09 PM EST

the world's a scary and painful place for you.  and for that i'm sorry.  

i don't have any answers for ya really.  but sure, we can be friends over the internet.  friends are nice things to have.  

Ben Franklin would have been an internet troll | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)
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