HOW TO: Make Your Farts Smell Like Mints By Jason the Mathematical Solo Guitarist in Jason the Mathematical Solo Guitarist's Diary Sun Dec 05, 2004 at 11:24:57 PM EST Tags: User Diary (all tags)
	Farting in social situations is considered to be rude in modern culture. While most Americans are fairly adept at "ripping" quiet ones, the subsequent lingering smell will surely give away that someone farted, leaving a few moments of awkwardness. In this article, I demonstrate a self-tested technique on how to make your farts smell like mints which eliminate this problem. Once completing this program, you will be able to quietly fart in public, while those around you enjoy the crisp minty odor of your anus.

To complete this task, you need: A turkey baster A bowl of warm water - 8-12 fluid ounces should suffice Something that tastes minty. I recommend the white tic-tacs since they are small and strong. Those (relatively) large discular mints you get at restaurants would also work. I recommend doing this in the shower, as you tend to get water everywhere and frankly that can get messy. Using the turkey baster, insert as much of the 8-12 fluid ounces of water into your anus as possible. To accomplish this, you'll want to bend over in the homosexual "receiving" position, bring the tip of the baster just inside your anus, and empty its contents. Hopefully, the temperature is just right. Cold water can be quite painful as can warm water. Now hold the water in your anal cavity. Take about 4-5 tic-tacs or one of the large disc-shaped mints, and, in the same position, slip it into your anus. Hold it in as long as possible. Ultimately, you want the mints to dissolve fully. After a somewhat lengthy period of time, anywhere from 15 to 20 minutes, you may discharge the water from your anus. You will likely see little bits of the tic-tacs remaining. There is a way to get better performance though: the water in your anus serves as an analog to saliva in your mouth. When you suck on a mint, you are moving it about your mouth which helps it melt. This is difficult to replicate in the anus. Flexing the rectal muscles will surely cause accidental discharge of the water. You can try to be overactive, for example, doing jumping jacks, but I have not found this to be beneficial at all. I am researching a solution to this problem and will report back if I find one. You'll find that you have to do this fairly often - about once in 24 hours - for your farts to continually smell like mints. This is too bothersome, so what I usually do is just "prepare" my anus before big occassions, for example a date, a dance, or any other time when I'm around females in a social setting. Its simple, its enjoyable and its fun - and soon everyone will enjoy the smell of your farts! Give it a try right now, its easy!

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