<Leroy, the Big-Lipped Nigger>
Leroy the big-lipped nigger,
had a very pushed in nose,
and if you took his boots off,
you would see eleven toes,
all of the other negroes,
used to laugh and call him "Bumbles"
They wouldn't let poor Leroy,
join in any negro rumbles
Then one balmy summer's eve,
some dagos came to town,
beatin' up polacks, beatin' up niggers,
spreadin' their grease all around,
Leroy the big-lipped nigger,
was polishing his Cadillac car,
a little grease spattered on his windshield,
he said "You G's have gone too fucking far"
Two little ginny's hit the ground,
the others turned and ran,
but there stood Leroy, wiggling his lips,
with a shotgun in his hands,
Leroy the big-lipped nigger,
is now doing ten to fifteen years,
but you know what's even worse than that?
His cellmates a polack with great big ears!
<Santa's Whore is Coming to Town>
You better not shout, you better not cry,
you're gonna go dry, I'm telling you why,
Santa's whore is coming to town...
She's making a fist, stroking it twice,
grabbing your balls and checking for lice,
Santa's whore is coming to town,
Oh, she blows it when it's flaccid,
She'll hump it when it's stiff,
She don't care if you're bad or good,
She'll make you take a whiff,
You better watch out, she'll sit on your face,
when your cock is dried out, she'll put your thumb in it's place.
Santa's Whore is coming to town...
<The Night Before Doomsday>
T'was the night before doomsday, and all through the house,
every creature was fucking, even the mouse,
Mom in her whorehouse and dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass,
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I got off of the bitch to see what was a matter,
Out on the lawn, I saw a fat old drunk prick,
I knew in a moment, it must be St. Nick!
He came down the chimney, like a bat out of Hell,
I knew in a moment, the fucker had fell,
He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother, the queer,
Then he flew up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
the son of a bitch blew the chimney apart.
He swore and cussed as he flew out of sight,
"Piss on you fucks and have a hell of a night!"