Vegemite is disgusting in even the smallest amount. But that's to be expected because it's really not meant for human consumption. Rather, it's used to keep the drop bears away! They don't like the smell of Vegemite.
So here's the deal:
American shows up for a tour of the Outback.
Australians feed American a heaping spoonful of Vegemite.
American gags.
Australians laugh and tell American that Vegemite isn't food and laugh some more about American gullibility.
American asks what Vegemite is for.
Australians are shocked by question and then tell American in most the condescending tone that Vegemite is for keeping the drop koalas away.
"What are drop koalas?" asks naive American?
Australians explain that koalas are predators, but because they are so slow, they must climb trees and wait patiently for a victim to pass underneath. Then they drop!
American is shocked, "But they're so docile-looking on TV."
"Don't let that fool you," the Australians reply. "Bruce here, he knows..." Bruce displays hideous scar on his back.
American expresses reservations about going into the woods.
Australians tell American to relax. The only reason Bruce was attacked was that he didn't apply enough Vegemite.
Australians then pass the jar of Vegemite around, smearing liberal amounts of the gunk on their necks and shoulders.
American applies Vegemite too, of course.
Everybody, now covered with the proper amount of Vegemite, goes off to the woods for a day, and the Vegemite attracts swarms of nasty, biting insects.
American complains about the bugs.
Austrialians tell him that bugs bites are better than drop bear bites. Bruce was in the hospital for a full month, you know.
By sunset, everybody's upper bodies are covered with thousands of little bumps.
Nevermind a shower, the Australians insist, let's go straight for a beer.
Australians and American enter pub, the whole population of which explodes in laughter.
Explanations are made and there is much ribbing.
American expresses amazement at Australians who endured thousands of bug bites just to play a practical joke.
Australians explain that the pain was worth it because it gave the hosts something to look forward to after a long day of playing tour-guide.
Consumption of beer commences. Frequent allusions are made to drop koalas, each followed by gales of laughter...
It's an odd place, Australia.
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